Ambition is not a Dirty Word

Ambition Is Not A Dirty Word By Debra Condren, Ph.D.

 
"A defiant charge to women to 'reclaim ambition as a virtue'… 'Wouldn't it be inspiring if you could acknowledge straight up, to yourself and to others, that you have big, wild and precious professional goals?' Condren's corrective manifesto urges women to pry apart the bars of 'common self-imposed traps' which cause ambitious women to 'sell themselves short'… "

Recommended Book on OprahSelects
(formerly titled AmBITCHous)

Available in Bookstores or online:

Random House | Amazon | Borders | Barnes & Noble | Powells 

Attend as my guest an Ambition seminar with proof of purchase of Ambition Is Not A Dirty Word.  Click Here for offer details.

Park Perfectionism

“I’m a perfectionist.  This keeps me from meeting deadlines and working up to my potential. But I’m so young and new at this company, I’m afraid of screwing up and not being as good as everyone else.”

I hear countless versions of this lament from a ton of clients, friends—and from that little voice inside my own head. Sound familiar? Join the club.

Working Moms Look Back with Mixed Emotions

By Maya Dollarhide Lucca. CNN.com. July 14, 2008

• Story Highlights
• Decision for moms to work or stay home is fiercely debated, rarely easy
  
• Psychiatrist: Children who are put in day care feel a real loss
• Author Dr. Debra Condren: Keeping yourself from your own ambitions can be "soul destroying"

3 Tips To Boost Small Business Working Capital

Dear Debra: I left a corporate job to start a small business. I’m an event planner. I love it. What’s rough is having enough cash to do everything I need to do, including paying a small team so that I can delegate and grow. My business doesn’t qualify for a bank loan. My credit cards are almost maxed out. What can I do? –Passionate on a shoestring, 32

Get around your credit crunch by increasing your working capital and cash flow using these 3 power tips:

Is It Honorable For Women To Give Up Their Ambition? Part II: Let's Get Real

 

When it “sunk in that mainstream schools shortchanged her severely autistic son”, Amy, 39, closed her thriving medical practice to help start charter school. For a long time, it seemed to be working out. “Then I found my husband in bed with a woman on the school committee. We went through a horrific divorce. I had to try to revive my career; at 49, it’s finally starting to take off again. But at my age, with everything I had to deal with, it was f_­­_g hard.” 

 

What If? Could this be you?

Is It Honorable For Women To Give Up Their Dreams?

Debra: You preach ambition for women. Aren’t you forgetting something? What about life balance? Mothering? –32, with better values than “just career”

Say your ambition is to be a great wife, mother, friend, or fair-minded coworker who refuses on moral grounds to educate herself about office politics. That doesn’t bother you, does it? No, because that’s socially sanctioned ambition. You’ll likely regard the following women as having chosen “honorable ambition”.

When Joining Mom and Pop Is Good Business

Last week we talked about the cons of joining the family business (review my CONS advice at www.AmbitionIsNotADirtyWord). Now let’s talk pros.

Get More Power From Powerful Advice

Dear Debra:

I’m a twenty-nine-year-old associate in the intellectual property group of a leading law firm. It’s always been difficult for me to ask for help when I hit career bumps. I’m not really sure why. I guess it’s partly because I’m afraid the other person will say no. Plus, I’ve always had it in my head that if you want to get ahead, you should rely on yourself instead of exposing yourself as weak by asking for someone else’s advice. Recently, however, I’ve seen that asking for help can be a smart way to be more effective professionally. How can I get over not wanting to ask for help? And can you give me specifics about how to approach people so that I get what I need? – "Kirsten", New York City

Joining Mom and Pop Good or Bad Business?

Dear Debra: I just finished my M.B.A. I’m seriously considering joining my parents’ business. Advice? –Mixed feelings at 26 

Let’s start with cons to consider:

The Day My Son Almost Died

I make my living teaching women how to unapologetically own their ambition in a society that has a double standard. It’s our prevailing cultural paradigm: ambitious men are go-getters, but ambitious women are the b-word.

I define ambition as that which drives our creative existence, provides an outlet for our talents and passions, defines who we are, and allows us to earn our full worth without apology. I walk my talk.

But just like you I take hits.

In a moment of trauma, I too succumbed to those deeply ingrained cultural beliefs about how women are supposed to behave. It happened to me when my son almost died.

The S.O.B. Diet: Silda Spitzer & The Sisterhood

We women always try and look on the bright side. Case in point: a friend who was going through a painful divorce and custody battle said to me, “Well, at least I’ll lose a few pounds—I’m on the Son of a Bitch Diet.”

Her husband—father to her children, ages two and four—had been having an affair. She kicked him out. He begged her to try again. She took him back. Several months later, she discovered he was back with his mistress.  He couldn’t help himself, he tearfully explained to his wife, his mistress was “the best friend I’ve ever had.” (Not surprisingly, he didn’t end up with the mistress after their divorce.)

After all that stress, my friend had shed her Mom jeans and was back in her skinny jeans.  She was right—the so-called Son of a Bitch Diet is the one surefire diet that works.